Paraprosdokians

I never (or seldom) blog about something I received by email.  The exception being: 1) It’s interesting, and 2) I haven’t seen it before.  Thanks to my daughter Linda for this one.  The author of this collection may be Jon Hammond – his name appeared at the bottom of the message.  I have edited his list of 29 paraprosdokians to 10.

“I had to look up ‘paraprodokian’. Here is the definition: ‘Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.’   ‘Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,’ is a type of paraprodokian.

1. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

2. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

3. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

4.  You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

5. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

6. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

7.  Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

8.  Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

9.  Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

10. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.