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Category: Living my Life

Euphemisms and PC Talk

Posted on August 27, 2016September 17, 2017 by Dot

I needed a word. My character thought someone was being mean. But that word seems a little harsh, not to mention judgmental.  I needed a softer word.

As I perused the 463 pages of Euphemisms and other Doubletalk, a book shared with me by my BFF (also a wordsmith), I pretty much struck out on how to call someone mean without insulting them.

But, I discovered there are many different phrases used to name intimate behavior, private body parts, or murder. One really has to be careful what one says. (Acronyms, so popular with text and facebook, are a whole nother blog post.)

We have all heard, and applied, the euphemisms most commonly used for death. It’s interesting how many ways we can come up with to say  (without saying) that someone died.

I heard medical personnel interviewed on TV at an accident scene say, “The patient uh, uh, deceased on the way to the hospital.” Thus coining a new verb.

And speaking of accidents … When news helicopters made it possible for the media to be on the scene before the first responders, a morning traffic reporter said, on her first day, “There’s a wreck on I-40 coming into the city.” Her anchor back at the station said, “We don’t say ‘wreck’, we say ‘accident.'” She paused a moment then said, “This one’s a wreck!”

One euphemism that came about after my child bearing years was when “labor pains” suddenly became “contractions.” And Mom didn’t “hurt”, she was “uncomfortable.”

Now who came up with that one? Probably hospital staff when they decided to let Daddy into the delivery room. He’s much less likely to faint at the sight of his beloved writhing in agony if it’s really only a matter of a little discomfort. Some hospitals use monitors attached to Mommy’s tummy to gauge just how strong the contraction is. Anything less than a 10 should be bearable, right?

I heard a story about a couple engaged in bringing new life into the world under these conditions. Daddy was fully focused on the monitor so he would know just how much support/ encouragement Mommy might need. As the needle moved up to 6-7 and slowly receded, he patted his wife’s hand and said, “Ah, that wasn’t too bad.”

I’m told she grabbed him by the front of his shirt and screamed, “That CONTRACTION was very UNCOMFORTABLE!”

Well, we all use them, and that’s okay. Euphemisms are not bad. In this day of saying the wrong thing and suffering censure from peers and strangers, the more we can soften our words, the better.

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Blessing the Backpacks

Posted on August 14, 2016September 17, 2017 by Dot

Tomorrow is the first day of school. This morning was the blessing of the backpacks. This is not a United Methodist ritual, but has become a loved tradition at Beebe First UMC over the past several years.

The steps in the chancel area were covered with backpacks, lunch kits, teachers’ bags, briefcases, and even keys belonging to those in the congregation involved in education.

Our pastor prayed individually for each child, that s/he would be safe, would not be afraid, be ready to learn, and maybe be a friend to someone who needs one.

Why would he pray that we should return to school unafraid?

Active Shooter Training is a part of most school-staff inservices this year. In the classroom, children are taught what to do if they hear gunfire in the hall or the “lock down” words come over the intercom.

Larger schools may have scanners where visitors swipe their driver’s license to gain admittance. Registered offenders may not enter.

How do we feel safe and unafraid? Well, that’s what the drills are for. When the fire bell rang, children knew to walk in a straight line to the designated place on the playground. That was the practice in the Forties (and still today perhaps).

During the Cold War years, when the A-Bomb alarm went off, children hid under their desks. Until someone figured out the desk was not really much protection against an Atomic Bomb.

Many southern states have tornado drills, safe rooms, definite plans for protection against storms.

All these drills urge us to think about “what would we do if . . .?” so we’re more able to make the best choice in an emergency.

School starts tomorrow.

Pray for the kids, teachers, secretaries, custodians, bus drivers, cafeteria staff, nurses, and parapros, and anyone else I may have accidentally left out. Pray they will be patient, loving, and brave in the face of their tremendous responsibility and challenge to mold young lives.

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Whodunnit

Posted on August 5, 2016September 17, 2017 by Dot

shoe300Assessing blame is given a lot of importance in the world today. Whether it is a natural disaster, an accident, or ‘user error,’ we instantly put a great deal of effort into finding out who is responsible.  All this reminds me of an incident that occurred several years ago.

Soon after I picked up my five year old from day care, I smelled a foul odor coming from somewhere inside the car.

I asked my little boy if he needed to use the bathroom and he denied having that need.

The aroma stayed with us throughout the ride home.

After supper I rushed him into his bath. I check his clothes thoroughly as I put them in the hamper. Nothing.

Even after I was assured my boy was squeaky clean, from time to time, I would get a whiff of  . . . or was it my imagination?

I didn’t discover the source of the stench until the next morning when I dressed for work and noticed a small amount of ‘it’ on the bottom of my shoe.

The moral is: Before we complain about a stink, we should each check our own shoes.

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Offended or Offensive

Posted on July 24, 2016September 17, 2017 by Dot

Is it possible to write that one true sentence that doesn’t offend someone? It would seem not. We have all had that foot-in-mouth experience when we innocently say something … maybe not even an original thought, but something we’ve heard or read … only to find we have stepped on a toe, albeit unintentionally.

And what about when it’s our turn to be offended? We too can work ourselves into a rant over the smallest slight or thoughtless slip of the tongue.

We really shouldn’t do this. Many years ago, a wise man wrote, “When a fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known. Smart people will ignore an insult.”

Does that offend you? Don’t get mad at me! King Solomon said this in the Book of Proverbs (12:16). He wrote lots of other things we would do well to heed. “A friend loves at all times.” “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

Oh, yes, he also said, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do and he will show you the right way.” *

Sounds like a Plan.

 

*Good News Bible, Proverbs 3:5-6

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The Methodist Way

Posted on June 26, 2016September 17, 2017 by Dot

Today was our pastor’s last Sunday at Beebe First United Methodist Church. Next week we will have a different spiritual leader and our “old” preacher will have a “new” church home.  That’s the Methodist way.

You can tell how long I’ve been a member, since I often refer to us as “Methodists” when we’ve been United Methodists since 1968. But I digress.

It’s called the itinerancy, continued from the earliest years in the United States when most denominations used Circuit Riders to bring the Gospel to their scattered flocks. In the United Methodist Church today, each summer elders are assigned (or re-assigned) to a church or charge. Every pastor has a church (sometimes more than one) and every church has a pastor (sometimes more than one). No Methodist preacher has to go out looking for a job.

This is a good deal for the minister and the congregation. The Bishop and his cabinet make the assignments. The pastor goes where he’s sent. There are sacrifices, after all, when one answers the call to full-time Christian service.

Brother Russell has served in Beebe six years. This is a long tenure, the average stay being three or four years. Both his children graduated from BHS. Couples he married brought their babies to be baptized. His first confirmation class of Beebe youth will enter college in the fall.

During the children’s story today, our pastor stopped, took a deep breath and paused. We have learned to recognized this as emotion, God touching his heart with the poignancy of the moment. As he continued, from the choir, I could see the child sitting next to him move her hand across his back as far as she could reach.

Softly she rubbed the palm of her hand across his shoulder blade to the middle of his back and to his shoulder again. I could imagine she had learned this comforting movement from a parent who had soothed her in that manner. It was such a compassionate act of love. I was touched.

She’ll always remember Brother Russell, even after she falls in love with Brother Matt.

Our children see their pastor as more than just the one who preaches and baptizes and serves communion. For them, he’s even more than just the good sport willing to wear a crazy costume for VBS. They see him, also, as vulnerable as the rest of us, as one whose heart also hurts when it’s time to say good-bye.

The comfort that one little girl could offer her pastor in this bittersweet moment is all the proof we need — if we should need it all — that no one is too young or too old to be a part of God’s Kingdom.

This is not just the Methodist way. It’s God’s way.

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Dot Hatfield

Dot Hatfield

Dot Hatfield is a member of the Arkansas Writers Hall of Fame and a Certified Lay Speaker in the United Methodist Church. She is the author of 7 books.

Dot’s Books

  • Worth the Candle
  • Did Anyone Read My Story?
  • An Ordinary Day
  • R.I.P. Emma Lou Briggs
  • To Find a Home
  • The Last To Know
  • Every Day a New Day

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