Category: Living my Life

In my wide circle of family and friends — some on Facebook and some not — there are several music directors.

So when I saw this on Facebook, I just had to share it (with credit to Carpe Harmonia):

“How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb?

Nobody knows, because nobody ever watches a choir director.”

LOL

I became a member of the church Junior Choir while I was in elementary school and since then, there haven’t been many years in my life that I didn’t belong to a choir. It’s about my favorite thing to do. I have sung with a 100 voice community chorus I had to audition for (yipes!) and an 10- voice group in a small country church. I loved them both.

St. Luke’s  UMC in Oklahoma City and City Road Chapel UMC in Nashville, TN are large churches with talented choirs.

However it’s interesting to note that many, many musicians in Music City do not read music. If someone is harmonizing by ‘ear’ rather than by written note … well, that can be a challenge for the director.

In a volunteer choir I was with, a singer asked our leader, “What does that little ‘bird’s eye’ mean?”  He said, “It means Watch the Director.”

Another time the alto sitting next to me said, “That passage is really tricky. How are we going to know when to come in?”

Does anyone out there know the answer to that question?

To me, October is the most beautiful month of the year and this year has been especially spectacular. I know we need the rain, half the state of Arkansas is under a burn ban, but it has been such a blessing to go about the activities of Autumn without carrying an umbrella. Football, state and county fairs, Fall-fests in the small towns — all have been wonderful and well-attended because the weather has been so good.

I have been away from this site for several weeks taking care of other projects I’ll introduce later. Next week I will go on blessed retreat at Dairy Hollow Writers Colony in Eureka Springs.

Yesterday was my birthday, an occasion to make me so thankful (again) for friends, family, my health, and the love I feel around me in a world that is sometimes scary to a senior citizen.

I’m not a poet (my disclaimer) but nevertheless I wrote this in 2004.

Autumn

Breathless anticipation fills the dawn
On first emerging from my deepest sleep.
A sense of wonder that will soon be gone,
A fleeting pleasure never meant to keep.
What is the beauty I must see today?
Must know before it quickly slips away?
Ah, yes. My spirit soars! It is October.

The patio is cold to my bare feet
And moving wind chimes make their tinkling sound
As squirrels appear and hastily retreat
Through falling leaves of red orange green yellow brown.
I’ll breathe the crisp cool air before it goes
Pushed onward by the winter’s chilling snows,
Then wait the seasons through — for next October.

Dot Hatfield — 2004

AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) never was a perfect fit for me. I was retired only one year, and have been in my post-retirement job since 2001. When their magazine, Mature Years, first came out, it was all about how to choose the best cruise line or the retirement village with the most amenities. I was raising a  young son, not really in a position to take advantage of either of those suggestions. I don’t remember seeing any articles about Grandparents as Parents.

Now, since 2002, Mature Years is AARP The Magazine. I visit their website and glance at the mag for their Movies for Grownups suggestions, but that’s about it. For the most part I am completely out of the demographic that is their target market. When did that happen?

The last issue was about being wary when choosing a dating partner off the internet. Nuff said. It was a sad story about a man who bilked a woman out of $300,000 before she caught on.

This month, the feature article, title on the cover right under the masthead: “Best. Sex. Ever. Even in your 70s – We show you how.”

Oh my.

Also listed was bargain travel, of course, and a piece titled “9 Mysteries of your Body Explained.”  Now this was meant for us older folks, I assume. The mysteries included, “Why I have the sweats,” “What happened to my toenails,” “Where did these spots come from?” “Why are my feet so fragrant?” “Is my nose getting bigger?” and four more too gross or graphic to mention here.

And guess what. Shania Twain is the big 5-0. Shania Twain!

Yes, AARP The Magazine is for the younger generation. That’s for sure.

Jerry Seinfeld is quoted as saying, “Political Correctness is ruining comedy.”

And he may be right. It seems no one can take a joke any more. Someone will be offended. Even if it’s none of their business.

If someone tells a joke about an old, fat, Methodist, moderate, forgetful, woman — and I don’t get angry — there are plenty of folks out there who will tell me I should. They will take up my cause for me, set social media on fire, and strive to ruin the speaker’s life. When all along I may have thought it was kinda funny.

There are many tender spots we can no longer joke about. Except Christians, of course. It’s pretty safe to make jokes about Christians — even cruel jabs in such bad taste one wouldn’t dare to make a similar utterance about any other religious group. But Christians must turn the other cheek. We rarely defend ourselves from jokes and for sure no one else is coming to our defense.

So, from The Lighter Side of Theology, I will reprint (with a bit of tweaking) this observance of how different Christian groups change light bulbs.

Charismatic: Only 1. Their hands are already in the air.

Presbyterian: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to resist the change.

Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb, and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Mennonites: We don’t know for sure but we have 50 volunteers ready to roll.

United Methodists: A matter as simple as changing a light bulb does not need to go before the Charge Conference for approval. After the Trustees have given the okay to change the bulb and the Finance Committee has approved the purchase of the bulb, the Church Council may adopt a policy on the changing of light bulbs. This will happen with all due expediency, unless somewhere in the process a new pastor is appointed to this congregation. If this occurs, we need to start over and let the new pastor give input on any changes that are planned.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?