Category: Too General to Define

Have you ever sent a text that said, “I love Y2K”? Well, I almost did. And if you have, then you probably have auto-correct on your phone.

I bought a new cell phone. I didn’t really need one except that my old flip phone was 10 years old, had lots of dead zones, and to text I had to punch 2 three times for C, once for A, and twice for B, etc. So, since my children are always urging me to move into the 21st Century, I purchased an inexpensive ‘smart’ phone.

My daughter, Kathy, set it up for me and on the wedding weekend we had short tutorials about usage.  I have really enjoyed being able to shoot questions or short messages via text.

What I have not enjoyed is auto-correct. FYI, this is a device in the ‘smart’ phone that thinks it knows what you want to say. It will finish your words for you without being asked and if you make a typo it will automatically correct it.  On the surface this sounds like a good thing but in reality ‘after’ might become ‘Afghanistan’ or ‘you’ become ‘Y2K’.

Now, I will hold my spelling skills up against the smartest a.c. But I will admit I make typos on my phone because the letter keys are smaller than the tips of my fingers and it’s hard to hit just one.

I needed to text my son the address where the wedding guests were housed. It was on Meline Street. I typed it carefully, slowly, accurately. Auto-correct changed it to Melinda. I tried again — malady — malign — melody.  Phillip needed the correct address to put in his GPS.  Just before being thrown in the toilet, the a.c. accepted ‘Meline’. What an exercise in frustration!

Recently, I saw a blurb on facebook: “Get rid of auto-correct. We’re tired of this shirt.”  Now that’s funny.

Yesterday a good friend at work asked if I would like a stylus, even though I do not have an iPad. I said sure, maybe it would work on my phone. OMIGOSH! This little stick makes all the difference in my texting skills. My peeps will receive no more bizarre messages.

Life is serene again.

Recently I received an email article (maybe you did too) naming all the things that will disappear from our lives during the next ten years (books, landlines, newspapers, etc.). I think I’ve found another item that might soon be gone: the electric can opener.

My twenty-year-old model gave out around Christmas and since then I have been making do with a manual twist-a-lot type. But with my age and a dab of arthritis and a smidgen of carpel tunnel syndrome, this is becoming more difficult. So, I took myself to Wal-mart in search of a new electric can opener, hopefully with a knife sharpener attachment.

I strolled up and down the aisles of small appliances: crock pots, rice cookers, pasta makers, microwaves, blenders, popcorn poppers, toasters, toaster ovens and coffee makers of every size and type. But nowhere among the shelves of various gadgets did I spot the can openers.

On the end of one counter was a display of the manual type I already owned, but none that would give the ease of attaching a can and pushing a button to remove the lid.

I spotted a young lady straightening stock. Her name tag indicated she was an employee, so I asked where I might find what I was looking for.

I’ll digress here a bit to say that the employees (called “associates”) in this Wal-mart are excellently trained for customer service. Whenever I have asked one for help they have stopped what they were doing and helped!

The associate confidently led me around to the next aisle and stopped short.

“Oh, they were right here. I guess they’ve been moved. They might be on the Clearance shelves.”

“Clearance!?”

Are they being phased out? I know some food companies are moving to the pull tops on their cans, but don’t get me started on that. The tab breaks halfway through the process and since the top lip is too deep for a traditional can opener and the bottom is rounded, there is no way to finish opening the can without using a hammer and chisel.

Well, thankfully, the electric can openers were not in the clearance section and, after enlisting help from a couple of other associates, my young lady found them. On a lower shelf under about 150 blenders.

Three. That’s right three (3) electric can-openers (with built-in knife sharpener and bottle opener) for me to choose from. I quickly grabbed one before they became completely obsolete.

It’s hard to believe that in Wal-Mart, where you can choose from dozens of tablets, hundreds of shirts, shelves of pain relievers, a fleet of bicycles, and a garden center full of plants, the electric can opener may be going the way of the VCR.

Today is my 80th birthday. I’m sure that you expect some deep words of wisdom from the vantage point of my advanced age. Well – not going to happen. This ain’t Tuesday and I ain’t Morrie.

I will admit that 50 years ago if I even thought I’d make it to this place I sure didn’t think I’d enjoy it.  I’m happy to be surprised about that.

My family held a birthday party for me last July when we met in Nashville, Tennessee for vacation. It was a surprise for me with cake and presents and fun, without the stress and pressure of everyone trying to manage a get-together in the Fall.

There was a second birthday event at lunch with my Red Hat Ladies on Thursday. It’s tradition that the birthday girl wears a red outfit and purple hat. After the servers in the restaurant got everyone’s attention by shouting and clapping, the Red Hatters played “Happy Birthday to You” on their kazoos.

Friday, at work, I was very surprised with a spread of brunch food, flowers and a card shower. I was touched that my co-workers found time in a busy day to honor me. This time I got the song in English and Cherokee.  Most special was when each said “something nice about Ms. Dorothy.” We almost had crying time.

Today has been relatively quiet. I attended church where I received a round of applause for reaching the 80th mile marker. I have more birthday cards than Walmart, 50+ friends have sent wishes on Facebook, there have been phone calls from family and a celebratory nap.

A great birthday!