Lex = word; phile= to like or be attracted to. This word is not in my dictionary, but it should mean a person who loves, likes or is attracted to words. Not to be confused with a lexaholic, which would be a person who exhibits and obsessive need for or interest in words. So for the lexophiles or lexaholics out there, here are some word plays.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A chicken crossing the road: Poultry in motion.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
There’s a tired joke about a man who wakes up to find two Texas mosquitoes standing over his bed. The first one says, “Let’s take him down to the river and eat him there.” “No,” says the second one, “if we do, the big guys will take him away from us.”
So Texas mosquitoes are big. But Arkansas mosquitoes are persistent. You can fan and spray and slam with a fly swatter, but unless you actually kill the little varmint, he will continue to land on you.
And Arkansas mosquitoes are sneaky. There is no doubt when there is a Texas mosquito around, since they have a sound just a tad softer than a helicopter. But I had no idea an Arkansas mosquito was in the house until I woke with six bites. My arm, my ankle, the heel of my hand, my little finger, the spot where my sandal strap rests and the bottom of my foot all sported itchy whelps. Sneaky … and persistent.
So, to close this comparision of insects from different locations, I have to say Oklahoma mosquitos are rather woosey. Spray a little OFF anywhere on your body and they won’t touch you. In Arkansas, you can bathe in insect repellent and the mosquito will find the small spot you missed … say on your ear lobe … and chew away. Texas mosquitoes consider OFF a gourmet sauce to enhance the flavor of their entree.
This is on the list of 15 books that have made a lasting impression on me. Since I discovered Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund about 25 years ago, I have read it several times. My copy is stained with some sort of a spill – water or coffee. The title is taken from Proverbs 31, where Solomon describes the ideal woman. Busy, organized, spiritual – a person in her own right, but supportive and caring for her husband and family. “Her husband calls her blessed, and her children also.”
This book was just what I needed in 1984 as I struggled to be wife, mother, stepmom, grandma, working woman, church woman, spiritual woman (there’s a difference), and trying so so hard to find out what God had planned for me. I was a mess of fragmented pieces. It may sound cliched to say a book changed my life, but this one did.
Anne Ortlund wrote this little book in 1977. It’s about the disciplines of getting to Christian maturity. She says, “Our sensuous age forgets that feelings come and feelings leave you but the disciplines of life are what get you to where you want to go.” And it’s about organization. She devotes one chapter to describing her notebook/calendar … ten years before day planners went on the market.
She gives practical suggestions on everything from managing a schedule (to avoid being overwhelmed with activities) to maintaining a wardrobe (to avoid spending hours deciding what to wear). But most importantly, she writes about choosing priorities. Solomon says a beautiful woman gives her life to God, family (including church family) and the needy people of the world.
I Googled Anne Ortlund to see what she’s doing nowadays. She is still a part of Renewal Ministries, begun by her husband Ray, who died in 2007. She continues to host spiritual retreats for women at her home in Newport Beach, California, and to disciple women one-on-one.
It was 1996 and I had taken my seven-year-old son, Phillip, and his friend, Jordan, to Chuckie Cheeses for pizza and games. At the end of the outing, the young boys took the tickets they had won to the counter to trade them in for one of the prizes in the showcase. For a child, trading in these tickets is a lesson in the realities of life: The tickets you won are never enough to get the prize you have your eye on.
So, the youngster must mix, match, negotiate, and explore all possibilities before he makes his choice. I retired to a nearby booth to let the boys work it out with the attendant behind the counter. Finally, they finished and joined me. “Boy,” Jordan said, “That man sure hates his job.”
Today, I attended an event sponsored by the cooperative I work for, where 1200 classroom teachers came together to hear a motivational speaker. The title of her talk was “The Power of Positive Thinking” and she reminded us that the power Norman Vincent Peale wrote about over 50 years ago, in his book by that title, still works. She spoke of the healing touch of laughter, named a long list of comedians who lived into their 80s and beyond. (George Burns and Bob Hope, 100+.) In a nutshell, the secret of a happy and successful and fulfilling life is to have a positive outlook and to laugh often.
For you, dear friend, I wish that whatever you do for most of the hours in your day brings you satisfaction and joy, if for no other reason than it is a means to an end that will be satisfying and joyous. I hope you enjoy your “job.” Because if you don’t you won’t be able to fool anyone. Not even a seven-year-old boy.
This story of a missing child and his mother’s search for him was inspired by an actual event that took place in Los Angeles during pre-depression days, which makes it even more interesting to me. Angelina Jolie plays Christine Collins, a single mother who comes home from work to find her nine-year-old son missing. She challenges first the indifference and then the dishonesty and corruption of the LAPD Captain (Jeffrey Donavan) when he produces a young boy he insists is her son. She finds an ally in a local Presbyterian pastor, played excellently by John Malkovich. Though it is unusual to see Malkovich in such a sympathetic role, when he’s usually scaring us to death.
Directed by Clint Eastwood, this movie has a great cast. Young Eddie Alderson turns in a very good performance in a small but intense role. Alderson is my family name, so what can I say, of course the kid’s a good actor.
Angelina Jolie received an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Christine Collins. This movie is well worth your while.